Monday, 15 February 2016

Some Things go Unsaid

It was 2:00am in the morning, and 12:00am was my sister’s curfew. My mom was starting to get worried about her because today was the first time she was late. My mom and I were sitting at our dinner table in our tiny apartment in Delhi, India. I stared at the clock on the wall above the tv.

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We all share one room and have two beds. My bed reaches up to my waist and is layered with cushiony blankets and sheets. My sister and I share one bed while my mom has a small one for herself. We also have an old TV in the living room. Our living room has two, large sofas and a small wood table with chipped ends. The TV rests on top of a small (barely standing) bookshelf stuffed with trinkets and other small pieces of junk.
We have a small bathroom in the corner next to our little sofa. Our bathroom has running water four hours a day, two hours in the morning and two at night. In the morning I wake up at 4:30 and try to get to the bathroom first. I wake up so early because my sister wakes up at 4:00 and studies until 6:00.  Every morning I wake up at 4:30 and rush to the bathroom to take a shower, brush my teeth, and stare at myself in the floor length mirror. The only place I have privacy is in the bathroom. This may sound weird but I love to spend time in the bathroom. I just wish I wasn’t short. My sister is 5’9 and I am only a mere five footer. Everyone in my family is taller than me. It sucks.
My dad was a successful man when he had my sister 19 years ago. I was born 15 years ago and only saw my dad up until I was seven years old. I remember when I was little I used to stand by the door and wait for him to come home. It was days like this that I wanted my dad more than anything. Even in the worst of times he would find a way to make everything good.

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Ma and I were really scared as to the whereabouts of my sister. We looked over at the clock and all we could see was the ticking of the hand. We first tried calling her but she didn’t pick up. Calling us to action, the clock struck 3am; Ma and I set out to look for Anya.


I rummaged through the bookshelf, looking for the necklace my sister gave me. As I dug my hands through the case I noticed many things I thought were lost. Small earrings, little bangles, a few pages ripped out of magazines, and of course, the necklace.  I pricked my fingers on the sharp damp edges of the bookshelf as I tried to take the necklace out.
After Ma and I got ready, we headed out to go find her. It was dangerous for two women to be walking down the street at 3:30 am, but all we could think about was Anya.  
We couldn’t imagine what would have happened to her if we hadn’t been there. She was at the street corner and couldn’t believe what we saw. There were ambulances and police cars surrounding the crash. Anya was crossing the street with her friends, and a drunk taxi driver speeding down the road didn’t notice the group of people crossing the street. One thing led to another and within a second, she was lying on on the ground with her friends surrounded by a pool of blood.
We came in time to see the EMS personnel pick her up from the ground to the ambulance in a stretcher. After a while we ended up at the hospital’s waiting room outside.  We wanted clarification on how Anya was doing. After two hours of waiting outside the emergency room we got our results on how Anya was doing.  The doctor came outside to the waiting and called Ma over. The results we got that day, were shocking.

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My mother was well educated and studied in one of the highest universities in India. She fell in love with my father when she met him at university. Her family was quite well off compared to my dad’s family who could barely afford education for their children. They both tried very hard to convince their parents to let them be together. But their parents didn’t approve so they eloped. After a few years, my parents got settled in with great jobs and an amazing house. My father was a lawyer and solved many cases and so was my mom .  After my mom had my sister, she stopped working and decided to stay at home. This was when my dad was caught in a fake case and was stripped of almost all of his savings in order to get him out. My father decided to help a family of farmers to get their farming land back from some men who snatched the land from them with fake documents and signatures.  The men then hired hitmen and threatened my family and my dad not to go through with the case, but my dad didn’t want a poor family, (like his own) to lose their only land and way of income. So he continued with the case, lost it, lost all of his money, lost all his property then got very sick and passed away two days before my birthday.

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The doctors said that Anya had some damage done to her skull which left a huge scar across the back of her head. She had bruises all over her chest and all over her face. She looked horrible. I didn’t even recognize her as my sister. Anger was boiling up within me and I knew I couldn’t cool down. I didn’t know how to react to this and stormed out the room. I ran and ran until I reached a traffic stoplight. the rain pattered down on my face blending in with my tears. As I looked around for something to calm my wailing down, I saw an older girl helping a younger girl with something. I remembered all the times Anya helped me when I was little.  Although I was never close to my sister and never showed it , I realize now my love for her was just hiding.

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Two Years Later…

“Ma, can you get me my graduation hat!!” I screamed as I was dragging my feet down the carpet on the stairs.
“ Kiran wait up!”  I heard Anya say as she made her way down behind me dressed in skinny jeans, stilettos (which made her look even taller) and a full sleeved white lace top. As soon as we got everyone together outside the house, Ma set a timer on the camera and took a picture with all of us in front of our new house and then we left for school. I sat in the backseat while Ma sat in the front next to Anya who was driving the car. Ever since my dad passed away we were
 It’s only when we have special occasions like a graduation or a birthday or a celebration that we are all together. I know I wasn’t the only one who was overjoyed that we were finally together. I looked at the rear view mirror and felt my sister’s warm smile fill up in me. I guess some things between sisters go unsaid.





















































Monday, 18 January 2016

Perhaps

Perhaps
Inspired by Shu Ting

Perhaps our ideas
will never have a stage to shine
Perhaps the forbidden path
will lead to a dead end
Perhaps we are stuck
in a cycle called life
Perhaps the door we open
will forever stay closed on the other side.

Perhaps the pain we hide
will find some way to make it out
Perhaps these thoughts we have
can make it out of our shadow
Perhaps our perseverance
will dig its’ way out of its’ hole
Perhaps these attempts we make
will eventually have an outcome      

Perhaps
we have to admire the risk people take to call something their own
we are destined to follow the circumstances thrown at us.
We have no choice.

Sunday, 10 January 2016

Six Word Memoir Based Poem


Innocence
Learning things earlier than we should, (6 word Memoir)
can create a change in our thoughts.
We are curious about the world around us
but we don’t understand the hardships people face

Sometimes we think we can take the pain
and try to prove that we are strong enough to bear it.
We try so hard to create a picture of us.

One day we see it so clearly.
We know that something in us is lost.
Curiosity about the world is being replaced with temptation.
Now we are tempted of things we never knew about.

Sometimes we have expectations of people
but we cannot keep up with expectations pushed onto us
We become aware of the void inside of us
But still have a hope
that things can go back to how they used to be.

Learning things earlier than we should,
creates a crater in us, that keeps sinking in deeper
and deeper
and deeper

and soon, one day you will wake up again
hoping you hadn’t changed
and think
Where did my innocence go?